How To Roleplay Tips: Eridan Ampora

      This HTR Session is for Eridan Ampora of the Homestuck series placed in the MSPA multiverse. This will cover the usual mistakes people pull when they’re attempting to roleplay the character, and how to avoid or correct them.

      Please remember to read the disclaimer at the end before complaining! As I always say, learn the rules, know the spirit of the rules, and then you can break them knowing what you do. Anything can be done with enough backstory, reasoning, and theory, and sometimes this is where the best RPs come from.

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Eridan Ampora from Homestuck
Basic character information can be found here.

       Alright so, you want to play Eridan Ampora huh? Well first things first, get your head out of the bucket. Some of the more common mistakes I see done with this character are what I’m covering, plus a run down on his personality as directly noted from his logs.

       Okay, alright, we get it. He’s a lonely pathetic loser whose only reason for living is that he wants to be paile— BUT WAIT. HE ISN’T? He’s a multi-dimensional character with hopes and dreams? With an established set of likes and dislikes, as well as apparently diagnosed mental issue? Hopy shit!

       He’s not going to drop on his knees for every vagabond who trots into his kingdom, nor is he going to beg for quadrants or sex endlessly. What are we, horny children? This is all we took away from the character? Yes he can be a flirt, but that doesn’t boil down to being instantly on everyone’s bone bulge 24/7.

       We were told he had a genocide complex, so for one thing anything land dwelling is probably at least somewhat offensive to him. He’s not going to beg quadrants from them because of their nasty habits, especially littering. He considers them lower species, so even if he did wish to follow through with one, he’d act like he was doing them a favor by stooping so low. This pretty much wipes out his blatant begging interest in anyone but Feferi right off the bat. Yes, he might grow to like a land-dweller over time and with some effort, but his first words aren’t going to be “pail me!” they’re more likely to be insults, complaints, and outright bitching over how worthless and pathetic they are. Which, tempered with compliments and hints, are him flirting. Then the second they say anything wrong, he foils his own attempts.

       He also looking for quadrants for another thing, and that includes Auspices and Moirails, both quadrants which aren’t made solely for running around with buckets. He’s lonely, he wants friends, but his ego can’t stand the idea of bowing and scraping to get any. So he insults, and batters them. Sometimes he slips, sometimes there’s a bad day or a moment of weakness where he might ask, but he’ll cover for it with bravado and rage. Whenever he gets a honest chance, he’s excited, but at the same time he’s scared. He pulls back when people mention it, and usually sabotages himself. His ability to have a stable relationship is going to be nil, and anything he will have will be half awkward back stabbing, and half needing attention.

       The guy lives on a boat, alone, and no one has ever bothered to visit his planet even when he’s asked them. He’s been in the water only a few days in his whole life according to Feferi, so he’s not exactly going to be constantly around her either. He lives in solitude, enforced by other people, studying history and warfare to make something of himself. He’s socially inept, egotistical as hell, and lonely. Not a complete pail-chaser who will bend over for anyone.

       Basically he doubles his v’s and w’s, no g on any word ending in “ing”. To/and/of are left alone, but very occasionally he’ll switch out “of” for an “a”. “An” is almost always swapped for “a” and “them” sometimes becomes “em”. He uses grammar like “got to” which Kanaya teases him for, as well as shorthand like BS. He uses caps for emphasis. He has quadrupled his W’s in shock before, but it was a very large shock.

       Importantly, his fish puns are very rare, usually cropping up when he talks about Feferi or is talking to her. Even then it’s sparing. Fish puns are likely as annoying to him as horse puns for Equius, who only starts into them when he’s flustered or scared.

       He says fuck more when agitated, but usually leaves off it. Favors “oh god” when freaking out. He actually typos occasionally, I can count three in the 6 or so Pesterlogs we have from him. He NEVER uses punctuation, EVER, no matter what. Not when yelling, not when questioning, apostrophes and commas are right out. He does seem to like run on or multiple sentences in a line though.

       He’s really hopeful about quadrants that he thinks might actually pull through, but he’s not stupid enough to listen to people without them confirming what was said. He’ll question and not believe anything kind of “oh this is a joke huh?” immediately after the initial hope, like he’s setting himself up for failure because he’d experienced it so often.

       He’s very exaggerated with his emotions, swinging from angry to moping in seconds. He usually apologizes for getting angry, and tries to keep himself in line, ESPECIALLY to those who he thinks are higher bloods than himself. He’ll even wheedle at them trying to gain favor, as seen with Rose.

       Some phrases and insults he’s uttered: “jacked tight the fuck into things”, “ill step off”, “assblood”, “dirtscraping landhag”, “bee essin me”, “kickass royal blood”, “musclebeast”, “asshole”, “skyhorse”, "collapsin and expandin bladder based aquatic vascular system".

       Nicknames: kar, tavv, sol, nep, kan, rezi, vvris, gam, fef. Just as often when he’s talking about them to others, he just insults them verbosely until people guess who he’s talking about. It’s like he can’t remember their names if he’s not looking at them on his screen.

       Eridan will pester people continously trying to get what he wants. If he thinks he’s in the right, or owed something, he’ll push people so hard he’ll drive them away. Vriska for instance blocked him when he was trying to make her talk to him about the weapons she owed him. Kanaya seems to think he’s kind of stupid, and talks down to him and teases him constantly while trying to get rid of him. He takes her for granted because she’s always been there to help him.

       Some people seem to deal better with his theatrics. Karkat and him seem to actually be pretty good friends who gossip together all the time, to the point Feferi expressed playful jealousy. She’s also tired of his moods even though she’s a moirail, so he’s probably just waaaay to prone to being sad and angry. He holds grudges when people shoot him down too, so he probably drags old fights up often.

       Part of him is his historical references. He’s really attached to them, with one coming up in most of his Pesterlogs. They range from romantic inclinations (like talking about mythical kismesisses who made the world run with blood they were so hot for each other) to military warfigures (which he tries to base himself on. He stated his perseverance was because he was emulating them, and to back down is shameful.)

       He said once, “its important sorry but the fate of the race and purity of the bloodline is important excuse me for being concerned”. He believes in the hemospectrum which is likely also due to his researching. He honestly believes Highbloods are better than anyone else, because that’s what tradition and his heroes say. He wants to support traditions, and probably has studied them extensively. He reminds Feferi about manners at one point too. When he encounters anyone higher blood (or so he thinks, sorry Rose) than him, he tries to be mannerly, and even apologizes for when his short temper flares.

“CC: I t)(ink deep down you stack t)(ese plots against you so you fail because you know it’s wrong.”

       Eridan, when confronted with this, doesn’t say no, just that it isn’t wrong. Other people have spotted his habit of sabotaging himself. He does it in relationships, he does it in fights, he does it with his plans to wipe everything out. The only time he wins outright is when he’s so pissed he doesn’t back down immediately. When he is so angry he just acts instead of overthinking it, and trying to keep somewhat good relations with everyone. 

       He seems to avoid the water for the land, Feferi infers it’s because he likes some of the land dwellers. That he’s pretending to hate them, and that it’s all just a huge bluff to try and keep his status. Likely in her eyes too, because he blows up about that accusation. In the end though, he was attempting a Kismesis with Vriska, and Karkat was labeled his nubby horned bro. At the very least, he wanted to be with them so he wouldn’t be alone, at the most… he really did care for them all, and just wouldn’t show it.

       He’s actually scared of telling Fef anything when real emotion gets involved. Flirting, fine, he flirts with people, but when it’s serious he quibbles about it. He goes for support from everyone, and avoids the topic until she pushes it. He wants to be pursued so he knows they’re really interested and not just giving in to his attitude.

       Even the people he hates he’s protective or at least empathic towards. When Gamzee told him the news about Sollux, his demeanor shifted. He used fuck more, a sign of his flustering and worry. He started saying “oh god” phrase, which he uses when he just can’t deal with something. He’s worried and scared for Sollux, even when they do nothing but fight. Knowing he’s dead actually shook him.

       He’s defensive about magic not being real. The thing is, he says it’s for babies, and idiots. He’s scared if he actually shows interest in it, like many other things, it’ll be taken away. Worse yet, for someone who is trying to deal with a cripplingly self-conscious and equally grandiose and egotistical mind, people might make fun of him. He can’t deal with that, the idea that anyone would take him less than seriously blows him out of the water. He’s terrified that people won’t take him seriously if he likes something that isn’t popular, or welcome. He wants to be accepted, and will bluff his way through anything to get that.

       Why isn’t it easy to take at face value that he doesn’t believe in it? He likes it, and more importantly when there was the slightest chance he could learn it he was all over it. Rose’s demonstrations made him go gaga eyed for magic again, and he even tried to barter with his body to learn the things Rose knew. He’s egotistical and okay a bit horny, but he’s 13, that’s kind of a thing guys do. He honestly thinks he’s such a catch that him flirting should make Rose fall to his wiles and give him whatever he wants; because as a narcissus he needs to believe that or he’d crumble entirely.

       A lot of these things are typical Aquarian personality traits, I have to mention. Aquarians are a temperamental bunch of overacting drama queens who want to be chased, but free, and freak out about the weirdest shit. They tend to be fairly violent, and outspoken, while being hidden and basically oxymoronic. We also think we’re awesome.

       Let’s finish this with a nice theatrical overdone quote that explains his reaction to being dissed, rejected, shut down, or otherwise insulted:

my holy fire is the wwhite fury bled from the wwrath-wweary eyes of fifty thousand nonfictional angels and wwhen theyre finished wweepin they wwill boww before their prince

The I’m-a-Human-with-Opinions Disclaimer:
      This isn’t an end all be all of all roleplaying to be done with this character. It’s just a cheerful little guide to help you cover some of the more common issues roleplayers come across while roleplaying them! As a rule, any relationship is viable with enough research, roleplay, and history between the characters, so they won’t really be covered here in depth. I really don’t want to headcanon too much at people, but it unavoidable due to the content. If you disagree with anything here, congratulations, I honestly don’t care. If it really bugs you, it’s because you recognize it as something you know you should do and don’t, and I’m just “calling you out” and you feel challenged. Calm down, and continue as you are. No one will complain, unless they do, then you probably really shouldn’t do it.


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